Celebrating it Irish style @ the library

The Conspiracy Theorist is hanging around my desk waiting for a computer, so I try to be friendly and strike up a conversation.

Me: What are you going to do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day?

CT: I'm not. I'm Irish.

"...Irish don't wear wear green. They wear white. That's the color St. Patrick wore when he came to Ireland from Scotland and saw the Lochness monster.

"So Irish people don't wear green to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

"If you are Irish, you wear white, drink beer, or be yourself.

He continued to wait for a computer and after a few minutes, someone left. He tried to log on, but it was already reserved. I said, "CT, that's why I told you to make a reservation. You need to go make one now."

He was not interested. "I'm going to wait. That's what an Irish does."


Happy Hour @ the Library

One of the shelvers found a cup of beer back in a cubicle where one of our regularly inebriated regulars sits.


pandamonium @ the library

Stuck in the Stinky Room again today. The regular person is on vacation. This morning started off with a bang.

The scheduling software update was not completed in time, so I spent the first 15 minutes of opening telling people repeatedly that they could not log on yet, and no, I didn't know when they would be able to.

One guy who kept trying to log on turned out to be deaf, so I had to start writing down everything I had just told everyone else.

They came up just in time for some lady who was in a huge hurry to print something, but didn't have a library card.

Oh what a mess...this new software apparently allows all sorts of different things than our old one. Like instead of letting people make reservations only on the half hour, apparently they can make reservations for any time. Weird. People just told me they had reservations for 10:40 and 10:45. I started to argue with one guy and then realized maybe he really did have a reservation for that time.

Hmm. I just checked my email and the IT people kindly sent us a screen shot of what the new welcome screen will look like on the new version of the scheduling software. That's reeeeeeal helpful. Thanks a million.

I do not want to be here today.

People say things about the computers that make absolutely no sense. "Hotmail sent me something. Do I have to download it? He downloaded it and sent it to me at the same time."


Sunday @ the library Part 2

6:40 I pass the ref desk on my way back from lunch and the reference librarian is trying to find some medical service and/or transportation for the cougher. I guess someone finally complained.

6:41 Girl wants to know if she is allowed to put a diskette in the computer.

7:00 Some guy's cell phone goes off and he lets it ring as he walks out. At least he didn't answer it here, but seriously, do people not know how to turn their ringers off or at the least, how to make them stop ringing before they answer them? It's not that hard.

7:10 Creepy regular runs around trying to figure out which computer he reserved. Hasn't he used up all his time for the day yet?

7:12 Cute hispanic mom needs help making copies.

7:47 Dang the guy is still in there coughing. No luck getting him out, I guess.

7:50 The gal who calls me Josephine came back to tell me she made a terrible mistake. The name of the store was actually not "Genonis" at all. It was "Gevononis". (Actually, it was neither, but that's ok.)

7:57 Teenage girl starts talking loudly on the phone. I tell her she can't talk on the phone in here.

8:05 The coughing is about to make me start dry heaving.

8:10 I just talked to the librarian in charge and she already called 2 shelters to see if she could find him a place to go, but they are full/closed. We can't really call an ambulance unless he collapses or asks for one, so we're just stuck with him here, and when we close, I guess he will have to spend the night on the street. The weather is terrible, which is probably why he is sick in the first place. If there was some affordable hotel around here, I would be tempted to pay for a night for him or something, but this is a major tourist destination area, and nothing is affordable around here, much less cheap.

8:16 Oh dang. Now I hear a different person coughing. If I don't get sick after this night it will be a miracle.

8:40 Almost time to go home. I think the coughing man left. I hope he can find a warm place to sleep.

Sunday @ the library Part 1

I'm stuck in the Stinky Room today (that would be the computer lab) so this is technically not a Ref Grunt. It's just a disgruntled grunt.

2:15 Middle-aged blonde woman who is always in here (and always asks the same questions about how to use the computer) asks me if she can go in the conference room to make a phone call. It's a business call. Someone has emailed her to get some sort of quote and she needs more information from them. Do people actually use the free library computers conduct their business affairs on a regular basis? This boggles my mind. How can you have a business that utilizes computers and not own one? Wow.

2:20 Lady asks me if she can use a computer and recharge her cell phone. The powers that be have not specifically prohibited this (yet) so I told her "I guess so."

2:30 I notice cell phone lady's phone is laying in a pathway, so I have to find a more suitable outlet--out of the way.

2:32 Cell phone lady asks me how to spell mansion--"you know, like a big house, mansion." I write it on a paper and wonder if she is filling out a Match.com profile. She looks close to homeless.

3:20 There is some NASTY coughing coming from the newspaper area. Ugh. I hope I don't have to go over there. I'm scared.

3:34 Visitor pass

3:44 Visitor pass

3:45 More nasty coughing

3:55 "What does it mean when it says 'you have 6,000 minutes left?'" It says 6 point 0-0-0 minutes. 6 minutes.

3:57 I find another paperclip on the floor that has one end bent out straight. I find these around the desk all the time. I think I know which coworker leaves them here, but I can't figure out what he does with them. Probably something gross that I don't want to know about.

4:03 A kid asks for a visitor pass. I spelled his name "Tommy", and he got very upset. "IT'S I-E!!! NOT Y!!" Um, ok.

4:13 copie machine question.

4:17 guest pass

4:18 another copie machine question

4:30 a coworker I like surprises me with a visit and we test out some audio equipment for a poetry slam tonight

5:01 Some teeny-bopper's phone starts ringing really loud and she lets it continue to ring as she runs out of the library to answer it.

5:11 more reeeealy bad coughing. I'm surprised no one has complained yet.

5:15 guest pass. I misspell another little kid's name. "Cynthia." oops, no that would by "Cinthya".

5:18 the funny lady who thinks my name is Josephine rushes in all in a panic and asks me to find the number for a particular Ace Hardware store. I give it to her and she rushes to the pay phone.

5:19 I hear her say something from across the room, but it takes me a second to realize she is calling my "name".

5:21 She rushes back to the desk and wants me to look up the number for "Givononi's" grocery store. I assume she means Giovanni's Grocery store and give her that number. I asked her what was wrong because she seems a little perturbed. Apparently she has left her treasured umbrella at either the grocery or hardware store.

5:24 Some man asks me if there is a vhs his kids could watch at the library. He means a vhs PLAYER. No, not a service we provide.

5:26 Frantic Josephine lady rushes in and out of the room a few more times. She has another umbrella at home, but the thing is, it has a horses head on it. (Not sure if she means the one at home or the one she lost.)

5:30 Oh, she's back to make another phone call. She leaves a message this time, and then comes to gripe to me about answering machines. she pounds the phonebook a few times for emphasis.

5:30 The coughing continues. I do believe the cougher plans to stay all day.

5:35 hallelujah the lost is found. she got her horse head umbrella back. She came to tell me its whole life story. I gave her some coupons from the Sunday paper. Then she questioned the fact that I could not find the name of the store on Google. For some reason, she doesn't believe me when I say it didn't come up in the search. "Well, did you put Givononi's GROCERY store?" yes. "And it really didn't come up??" NO. I don't see why it matters since I still gave her the number in the end.

Lunch time!!


I love answering the phone @ the library

Male Caller: I am returning a call from Michelle.
Me: This is the reference desk, and we don't have a reference librarian by that name.
MC: Well, I'm quite sure someone named Michelle just left me a message.
Me: If you want to tell me what you needed, perhaps I can assist you.
MC: I was trying to order a book online and it won't let me.
Me: Ok, our online system is not working properly, but I can help you with that.
MC: I'm quite aware that it is not working. Michele said she would help me.
Me: Well, I'm not quite sure who called you, but if you tell me what you want, I will place the hold for you.
The rude guy finally tells me what book he wants and I order it, but he just won't let the Michelle deal drop. As I am finishing up that process he starts questioning me again.

MC: So NONE of this sound familiar to you??? Wouldn't it be INteresting to know who that was?
Me [with false sincerity]: YES! It WOULD be interesting!!
MC: It sounded a lot like you one the phone.
ME: Do you think I'm lying to you?! I did not leave you a message! {holy cow! What is UP with this dude?}

At that point, my coworker overheard the conversation and said, "Oh, I just called that guy."

I relayed that new information and told him her name (which was most definitely not Michelle.)

He didn't even apologize, but that's nothing new.

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