My Blood Pressure

...must be sky high...
This man came in, asked for a one time use number, and I gave him one. A few minutes later he complained that his computer shut itself off [highly unlikely]. I gave him a new one time use number and explained that they can only be used one time, hence the name.

A few minutes later, he complained again that he couldn't get on, so I typed the number in myself and got the standard message "a one time use number can only be used for one booking" or whatever it says. I asked him if he had already logged on with it & he said yes, so I told him again, they can only be used one time, and he acted like that was the dumbest thing he had ever heard. I said, "Well that's the way it works for people without a library card" and printed him a third one time use number. This time I stood over him while he logged on to make sure he didn't screw it up again.

I asked him if he needed to use the internet.

"No, Yahoo."

"That IS the internet" was my uncharitable reply.

"Well how do you get there?"

"You have to type it in the address bar" [which I did with stomping fingers.] What a lamewad. Ignorance is annoying, but ignorance combined with peevishness is intolerable.


The ignorance is suffocating me. I was just asked a series of questions by the same couple that defies description.

"Can you email from these computers?"
"how to we do that?"
"you have to have an email account."
"What's that? Is it free?"
"That depends. Something like Hotmail would be free."
"Oh that's what so-and-so has. We can do that at home."

And then:
"If I want to search for something like HIV/AIDS cure, do I just type it here?" [pointing to address bar]
"No, you have to go to a website that is a search engine, like Google."
"What's that?"
"Type in www.google.com in the white box there."
"How do you spell that?"
"G-O-O-G-L-E. Now type in what you want to search for."
"What's this page? We don't have to do this at home."
"That's because you have a different home page on your computer at home."

I seriously doubt that last "oh" meant "I understand" but I had elaborated enough. The thick white mucus in the corners of the man's mouth was about to make me gag.


I was helping a nice little old lady (who was wearing purple, incidentally) look for the video Foreign Affairs. As I scrolled through the list of results she asked, "Will that little arrow tell you when it finds what I want?" Took me a second to realize she was talking about the pointer.


Several good stories today.

Man: I want to look up a telephone directory. Which one do I use?
Me: You can use any of the computers.
Him: [pointing to the computer he had already logged on to] so...Excel...or??
Me: Oh. no, Internet.
Him: I'm not too bright.

And story number two:

A young boy came in and his mother asked me if I could help him use the computer. He logged on and painstakingly read the whole Usage Agreement (or else just looked at it for a really long time). Then I tried to help him get on the internet but that wasn't what he wanted. He said he wanted to print his picture.

So, do you need to use Word?


I showed him how to access Word and then he clicked on "open" and "my pictures". Of course it wouldn't do anything--it's a public computer. I asked him where the picture was. He said it was at home.

I'm not sure if he was retarded or what. I just had to walk away.

Story number three:

We have this regular customer who farts out loud all the time. Usually everyone around him just tries to ignore what's happening, but today I had enough. (Plus, I have a theory that it is sort of an exhibitionist thing with him because it quite often happens around young hot girls.) So today after he farted several times while I was standing nearby (wait, that sounds like I think I'm a young, hot girl...not what I meant), I went up to him and quietly and politely said that it is against library policy to pass gas out loud in the library.

He said he wasn't farting but making noises with his mouth, so I just shrugged and walked away. After he finished using the computer he went & complained about me to the reference librarian who told him that we have to monitor behavior that is disturbing others, etc. Incidentally, he didn't tell her he was making noises with his mouth. He told her that he lets out little farts when he is nervous, and what is he supposed to do? Hold them in?

He is also always researching things about death and human decomposition. Sometimes he asks for help in looking up stuff like that. Very, very creepy. I would not be surprised if one day we will see pictures on tv of police digging in his back yard.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?