The Driving Insane

I started working part time in another library system (you know, so I will have that many more opportunities for stories to blog about), and I have to go through the training for that system. One of the new hires I am training with consistently calls it "the liberry." How do you get a job when you can't even properly pronounce your place of employment? ha.

Female customer: I need a dictionary.

Me: OK. A regular dictionary?

Her: Well...I need one with a lot of words.

Me: [blank look--don't they all have a lot of words?]

Her: [as I show her our selection of dictionaries, including the OED] My son is writing a school report on the old court house and it has words in there I don't know...like "tier".

A gentleman (wearing a short sleeved work shirt and well-worn brown work gloves) walked into the computer lab and looked around quietly before approaching the desk. "Do you have to have a library card to use the computers?" "No, I can give you a temporary number." "Ok, what do you need to do that?" "Just tell me your name, and I'll print you one up." "Oh that's ok," he said, and started to walk away.

"Hold on," I told him. "I don't have to have your name." I printed him one with the name "guest" on it. As it was printing, I tried to preempt the inevitable conspiracy-theory speil by saying, "Yah, we don't care what your name is. There is no reason we need to track anything you do because we just really don't care." He started in on it anyway, complaining that "everywhere you go, they need to know your name so they can track what you do."

Yep, you can bet I'm interested in what you look at online.

Today an old man told me I am prettier that Scarlett Johanssen. A very nice compliment indeed, considering. Too bad it's not true! He also told me I don't look a day over 18...also not true. But I'll take it.

Another old lady caller left a message asking us to look up the "trips for today that they list in the paper" because she lost her paper. I have never noticed such a feature in the paper, so I called her back to clarify her request. After some discussion, I determined she was talking about the community events calendar.

I guess when you are 87, getting out to see the rose show down the street constitutes a "trip". May I live to see the day.

I'm still here. It's not that stuff quit happening...It just takes a particular frame of mind to find humor in the every-day oddities one encounters in this place. I guess I haven't been in that space in awhile since I haven't felt compelled to write anything down recently.

A message on the phone this morning roused me out of my lethargy. The older, female caller demanded to know "How late is the library open today?"

That was it. No preamble. No name or phone number. Well, old lady caller, if you're reading this blog, we closed at 5:30 yesterday when you apparently left the message. FYI.