The Driving Insane

There is this little preschool girl we see on a regular basis. She is so talkative and demands your entire attention. No wonder her mom sends her to talk to us. She wants a break. One day she was very insistent that she needed "printheth movies." Apparently it didn't matter what kind as long as they contained substatial coverage of princesses.

Another day she stood in front of me at the desk going on and on about something. She stopped mid-sentence and picked up a crumb on the desk. "Can I have it?"

Me: "Sure. Just don't eat it."

Her: "Why not? What is it?"

Me: "I have no idea."

Her: "Maybe it's a booger."

Then she switched subjects. "We have a parrot."

Me: "What does it say?"

Her: "I don't know." pause. "Oh it says 'Hola! Hola! Hola!'"

I never saw what she did with the crumb.

I can't think of a title for this one, but a few weeks ago, I was manning the greeter desk when this dude walked by and then stopped and said "One day at band camp..." I looked at him blankly, which prompted him to repeat himself: "One day at band camp..." Finally he clarified. "You remind me of that chick on American Pie."

Because that was a discussion I did not want to participate in, I told him I had never watched the movie, which is true, but I still knew perfectly well what he was referring to. And even though I haven't seen the movie even I know that isn't exactly how the quote goes. Get your movie trivia right, people. Oh, and cut the innuendo with people you don't even know.

Yesterday afternoon, an older lady approached the guard and asked if he could come outside and help her. It seemed that when she pressed the remote alarm on her key chain, the wrong car beeped back at her. She told him, "I know that is not my car. My car doesn't have that rack on top or those buttons on the door." He took the keys, walked over to the car in question, unlocked it with her keys, got in and started it.

She was still pretty sure it wasn't her car. He said, "Did you have this package here in the seat?"

"Yes, but I don't remember the rest of it."

I guess eventually she did get in and drive away, but she was probably looking nervously over her shoulder the whole time.