The Driving Insane

Male Caller: I am returning a call from Michelle.
Me: This is the reference desk, and we don't have a reference librarian by that name.
MC: Well, I'm quite sure someone named Michelle just left me a message.
Me: If you want to tell me what you needed, perhaps I can assist you.
MC: I was trying to order a book online and it won't let me.
Me: Ok, our online system is not working properly, but I can help you with that.
MC: I'm quite aware that it is not working. Michele said she would help me.
Me: Well, I'm not quite sure who called you, but if you tell me what you want, I will place the hold for you.
The rude guy finally tells me what book he wants and I order it, but he just won't let the Michelle deal drop. As I am finishing up that process he starts questioning me again.

MC: So NONE of this sound familiar to you??? Wouldn't it be INteresting to know who that was?
Me [with false sincerity]: YES! It WOULD be interesting!!
MC: It sounded a lot like you one the phone.
ME: Do you think I'm lying to you?! I did not leave you a message! {holy cow! What is UP with this dude?}

At that point, my coworker overheard the conversation and said, "Oh, I just called that guy."

I relayed that new information and told him her name (which was most definitely not Michelle.)

He didn't even apologize, but that's nothing new.