The Driving Insane

A patron informed us that he had self-diagnosed himself as having fibro myalgia. He was researching a medication that might help his condition.

The security guard "warned" us that his mother had made him a batch of his favorite eggplant curry and he could feel it coming out his pores. He wasn't kidding. I could smell him from five feet away. And it wasn't exactly pleasant.

A lady asked me why the book she wanted was not available to check out. I told her it was on order. She asked, "What does that mean?"

Now we have a lady trying to get us to tell her where to buy a Dell computer, how much it will cost, what store to get it at, how to use the internet, what Windows is, where to find the 800 number for Dell, what stores sell Dell, how cheap they are, ad.infinitum. Then she overheard another patron telling us he used to own his own computer store, so now she is grilling him. Should she get a laptop or not? What is a computer doing when it is sleeping? Can't she plug it in? I'm feeling exhausted. She said, "See, I took a computer class here [actually just a short guide to logging on to our computers in the library], but it's been a month and I don't remember how to do it anymore, so I think I just need to buy a computer so I won't forget how to do it. Everybody says I should get a Dell laptop." Then: "She told me how to come over here and sign up for a computer. I don't know how to do this."

Boy, I sure feel sorry for the Dell tech support people. That job has to be
infinitesimally worse than reference librarian.

A guy with an uncomfortably intense gaze and headphones asked for Norse mythology. As I attempted to find him something at our branch he turned his headphones up really loud.

Computer lady is back again, this time wanting some videos on improving her singing voice.

Resident Perv wants to know the Dewey Decimal number for knots.