3.19.2005

Refgrunt plus

A snapshot of my day so far

10:00
Security guard arrives and says “hi there, hi there.” He repeats himself a few more times, laughs and says, “I’m doing the Dominos thing.” We all laugh politely.

10:02

Weird, LOUD guy: “Hello, hello, good morning, good morning. I’m doing the double double thing. You know about that?”

“Yes, you’re the second person in the 2 minutes we’ve been open to bring that up.”

“Really?! That’s WEIRD. Well, you know I am psychic, so …but that’s WEIRD. The chances of that are like a gazillion to one. I need books on Chinese medicine.”

I give him the call number range. He comes back a few minutes later: “I couldn’t find any. There are only a few books on Chinese medicine and I don’t know the names.”

“Sir, when I search for “chinese medicine” 85 titles came up. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Well, I’m very advanced, so these are not advanced enough for me. I go to a school in San Francisco where they teach stuff about qigong and tai chi. They know their stuff. I didn’t believe it at first but they did it on me and I felt heavenly.”

“Well, maybe you should try the library at your school. We only have basic stuff here because we’re a public library. Your school’s library would probably have more things on your level.” [I never use flattery, because to me it seems so obvious, but this guy was delusional and that seemed the only way to deal with him. It worked. Then the security guard came by and they greeted one another like long-lost brothers. He told me the security guard was his body guard, and then I heard him telling security that he was a magician.]

11:30
A man brings us the book he had just received through interlibrary loan.

“This is not the one I wanted. Apparently at other libraries they have people that aren’t smart enough to work in libraries. I want the Douay Bible! This is not what I ordered. Someone is incompetent.”

12:45
A lady asked me where the bi plints [short I sound] were. She repeated it several times and got really annoyed when I couldn’t understand her. Finally I said, “Big prints?” “Yes.” “Prints of what?” “All of them. I want to read something.” “OH, book!” [we usually refer to them as ‘large type’. After I finally understood the words she was saying, I still thought she was talking about pictures or perhaps the oversized books. ugh.]

12:50
An older gentleman shows me a book about a Pearl Harbor conspiracy theory. He said he asked that the library get a copy and wondered if it had arrived yet. Nope, not here yet. Then he handed me three type-written pages of his own memories of the incident. It was actually pretty interesting.

1:35
There is a guy in here now carrying around a big bag of trash. I saw the security guard carry it out about half an hour ago, but the dude must have rescued it.

1:48
The Conspiracy Theorist stops by to ask me to find information on Lee Harvey Oswald's career in the marine corps and the Nazi pentagon. I couldn't find information on either. I use flattery on him as well, and tell him he has already done so much research, I can't add anything to it. Actually, it's not flattery. It's the truth. He has already read every book and website out there. It's too bad he is not able to conduct primary source research.

2:03
This guy just showed me a legal injunction he is filing against the city to try to stop them from tearing down an historic bridge. About half an hour ago, the same guy asked me to call a church for him because he was asked to speak there and needed to find out the details of a meeting. About half an hour before that he asked the other librarian to if he could scan a picture he found of his father, and he started crying. Uh, something is not right. He came up again to tell me more about the bridge. He has taken over 300 photographs of the bridge and told me that outside of engineers, he is probably the biggest expert on the bridge. I’m not going to contest that one. Incidentally, this is the same guy who is carrying around the bag of trash.

2:27
A guy wearing two plaid button down shirts (fully buttoned) and a white undershirt, grills me about our hours of operation for the next two days.

3:34
The security guard joked that "Today must be free pass day on T5" (a ward at the local mental hospital.) It is NUTS here today.

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