The Driving Insane

Question from an older lady:

"I recently got an email site and I forgot to put spam blocker on it. Is there any way I can do that now?"

[Long pause and blank look from me]

"um, do you mean an email address?"

"Yes."

"Well, I don't know. The best way to not get spam is to not put your email address on the internet."

"Well, everytime I visit a website like the library or something, all these things pop up. Advertisements."

"That doesn't have anything to do with your email."

"I know. I was just using that as an example."

"Well, I'm not a computer tech, so I really don't know." [Actually, I do know more than what I let on, but I'm not here to educate the computer illiterate. Sorry.]

An effiminate young man asked me if I could help him find, "just a regular cathaurus." I told him they were right by the bictionaries.

I am sad that I missed this incident: A patron approached the reference desk wearing an animal puppet on his hand. He insisted that the entire transaction be conducted by talking to the puppet. This really happened to my coworkers. I do not make this stuff up. I don't have that good of an imagination.

Dope-head patron motioned me over to his computer.

"I think I have a virus here. I'm being hacked."

Me: Not likely. "Hm. What does that mean?"

Him: "It means I keep getting booted off this site."

Young library patron: "Where are the unfiction books?"

Customer: Is computer 148 working?
Me: Hmm...Is it off?
Customer: I don't know. I'm not a computer technician.

Those darn complicated 'puters. Takes a genius to run one a 'dem tings.